It’s my birthday, and yes, I feel different.
Today I’m looking forward to time alone, smiles, and a little bit of alcohol. I’m going to print out all of my poetry as a present to myself, just because I love looking back through the lens of my words. I will be updating this blog more because once again, I love the perspective it provides.
I’ve arrived.
Welcome to UCLA.
Today I fell into my groove taking notes, hit up the library looking for one pesky book for class tomorrow, studied alone on a grassy hill before lunch, completed mathematical proofs while talking to friends, then had the most intellectually stimulating conversation during dinner with a random acquantaince who just happened to sit down. (Care to talk about racial dynamics and economic opportunity as a predictor of success in life?) It was so interesting that we stayed at the table long after the steam stopped flowing from the soup and the ice in the cups melted. Sure, it may have cost me precious study time…but it was worth it.
I can’t really explain this strange phenomenon that has been reappearing in my social life. Every time someone strikes my interest, it seems that God brings them into my life almost immediately afterwards. Take the conversation, for example.
Yesterday in my chemistry tutoring session I sat across a boy in my class, who was shy and unassuming—but he caught my attention. So much so, that instead of doing the problem set, I sketched his face on my paper while he was asking the T.A for help.
Then, not even 24hrs later (I had never talked to him before!), he walks over to my table at dinner (I’m sitting alone) and asks to sit with me. I oblige, and the conversation begins slowly, almost painfully so. Until I ask a single question. He tells me his major, and after an awkward pause, I ask why? Why does he want to pursue something so difficult and what interests him about it? Then the floodgates open, and we talk for the next hour about race, success, science, and the human mind.
I find myself intrigued by the excess of thoughts racing behind his dark, long-lashed eyes, and I am mesmerized by his mind. He’s never taken an AP class before (or even honors, for that matter), but he is hands down one of the most intellectually active people I have ever met. We did not flirt, we did not talk about our AP scores, and we did not want to stop talking. It was perfect.
Today was exactly what I needed. Sleep in, work out, eat alone, be alone. I hadn’t spent time with myself in over a week and that was beginning to cloud my perception and render my experiences with others less valuable. I am recharged again, but I will make sure to be alone at some point each day. To neglect this results in emotional exhaustion.
Last night I went to my first ‘grown’ party, and everyone was so dressed up and the boys were cute and it was a little overwhelming but a good experience. People from LA definitely dance way differently than people from Corona, so I had a little catching up to do. A few times people ran out of the room like it was getting shot up and then the police came and it got shut down. I think I will have to wait a few weeks before going to another rager like that, but maybe I’ll check out a frat party soon.
